


Super Husbands versus Diaper Changing

by orphan_account



Series: our house [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Domestic, Established Relationship, Family, M/M, Marriage, Married Couple
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-28
Updated: 2016-11-28
Packaged: 2018-09-02 19:55:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8681353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Detailing two instances of first-time dads, Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes, going up against the horrors of diaper changing.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This series isn't chronological and all updates are stand-alones but belong to the same universe (unless stated otherwise).

**1\. A Time Bucky Didn't Change the Diapers**

 

Sam found Bucky cowering in the corner in another room with the entire role of paper towels in his arms. He was on the floor rocking back and forth as if he'd been traumatised.

"Bucky," Sam said cautiously.

"I'm not going back in there," Bucky said.

"Bucky. It's four a.m. Neither of us has slept and the baby is still crying."

That was when Bucky looked at Sam. His eyes were wide and glassy, red veins spreading from the perimeter of his eyeballs like tree roots.

"Sam... I got poop in my fingernails. Like. Right in there." Bucky began to gag.

"Don't you dare throw up, man! I need you. Our daughter needs you. She's got a diaper full of shit and she ain't old enough to take care of it herself. Give me the damn paper towels."

Sam took possession of the paper towels and marched back into the nursery with a rekindled determination to achieve three objectives: (1) get his daughter to stop crying, (2) change her diapers and finally (3) sleep. The third objective was pivotal, because Bucky's sanity was certainly flung to another universe based on his cowering in the corner of their bedroom and Sam's was soon to dissipate as well. He was already hallucinating figures in his peripherals and sometimes when he looked up at the kids poster on the wall in the nursery he could swear the characters were taunting him with that lifelessness in their 2D eyes like _'yeah, motherfucker. This is fatherhood. Is this what you wanted?'_

The shrill wailing crashed into him and it circled all around like a wave, as if Sam was on his back sinking into the sand and the water just kept coming and coming.

"Hey, sweetheart," he cooed and went to take her into his arms, abandoning the paper towels. Her physical presence was a gift truly comparable to a cup of something warm on a cold day. But what he heard from her contradicted all that gentleness. Her cries cut like a knife. Sam stalled like that for a moment, just holding her and speaking to her as if she could talk back, as if she could even hear him through her own cries. Oh, his poor baby.

"It's okay, Jay. I got you. Now we're gonna flush out all this shit. I mean. Eh, you don't know what I'm saying. Shit, shit, shit. Oh hey? You like that word don't you. Well, don't you repeat it until you're like thirteen okay?"

Sam took advantage of the quiet, his old friend, and laid Jay down at the diaper-changing station. As he got down to the dirty business he made a mental note that it would be Bucky's turn next.

Yeah. This was fatherhood. He wouldn't have it any other way. 

 

 

**2\. A Time Sam Didn't Change the Diapers**

 

"Sorry I'm late! Sorry! I'm sorry. Hey, Steve. Sorry."

After his spew of apologies Bucky dropped into a seat beside a disgruntled Steve with a hand over his face. Bucky looked around the room.

"What?" he asked.

"Barnes, are you aware this is a business meeting?" Director Fury asked. "And I'm absolutely certain that baby strapped to your chest is not clear for access into this building."

"She's a fucking baby. My baby," Bucky said.

"Buck," Steve said sternly.

"Respectfully, Mr. Fury," Bucky added for safe measure. Fury's icy gaze did not waver. "And I apologise on behalf of my husband for not being able to make it."

"Barnes, I respect you and Wilson's marriage but in the workplace we should refer to each other by our professional titles," Fury dictated.

Bucky laughed. "Um. No way am I calling Sam the Falcon. Even in his absence I'm not going to let him win."

Beside Bucky, Steve sighed.

Jay stayed strapped to Bucky's chest and was thoroughly entertained by Clint who sat opposite Bucky making faces at her. Sometimes, Jay would reach for Steve. The eventual tap of her fingertips against Steve's giant palm made Bucky think of a butterfly landing on a leaf. At one point Bucky thought he was going to cry whenever he became too aware of her tiny presence and how there was a lot of Sam in her.

It was all fine.

Until she started crying.

And a repugnant odour spread throughout the room.

"Oh! Diaper change. Let me just. Um. Gotta go," Bucky said and fled in a panic.

Bucky bolted into the bathroom only to discover no diaper changing station.

Logically, Bucky's next plan of attack was to rant about this blatant display of sexism and portrayal of traditional gender roles, because _'goddammit--what's your name--Gary_. _Dads should be able to change their baby's diapers in public restrooms too,'_  to which Gary responded with ' _I work in Records, pal'_ and left looking vaguely scarred.

The next move was to enter the women's bathroom where Bucky's rant continued to a poor woman washing her hands about how _God, Meena, why do we even have segregated bathrooms. You'd think super advanced S.H.I.E.L.D. would have gender-neutral bathrooms._ Meena never answered, just dried her hands and left, and Bucky was alone in the women's bathroom with his wailing daughter.

As he'd predicted, the women's bathroom _did_ have a diaper-changing station. Later on Bucky would employ the help of Sam to write a letter to human resources about implementing gender-neutral bathrooms.

 

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Check me out on [tumblr](http://bamsucky.tumblr.com/). Please come and 'oi' with me.


End file.
